Fracture
by silk1
Summary: STOLEN EARTH All the things, small and big, he should have done and said before ….all the things he had missed… And suddenly, before he knew it, he was running.


I go nowhere high

DISCLAIMER: BBC and Russel own everything. I just play and grovel at their feet.

NOTES: Soooo…..i guess I am not the only one left breathless by the cliffhanger. This just would not leave me alone. I little piece of fluff to tide us all over

The Song is the beautiful NOWHERE WARM by the talented Kate Havnevik

**F****RACTURE**

_I go nowhere high  
Go nowhere warm_

"What was her name, Donna?"

He had known he was weirding her out, scaring her even - if that was even possible after the ordeal she had been through.

Still he could not help himself. His own voice rang in his ears, he could hear the frenzy in his tone.

So much sorrow, so much grief, so much fear, so much longing, so much terror, so much pain…all bundled up in five little words. He could see it in her widened eyes, see that she could probably read it in his face. They had never openly talked about it in detail. But Donna was a smart woman. Intuitive and very, very clever … she knew. She understood. He could see it in her eyes when she uttered those two words that could tear the universe to tatters. Two words that spelled doom and yet filled him with a terrifying aching hope.

Bad Wolf

Rose Tyler

Rose …

_Until I see your smile and feel your calm  
And I lick a dime  
I crave for you boy  
You're like a parachute descending from the sky_

"Why don't you ask her yourself?"

It took him a moment to understand the full meaning of her words. The full extent of their meaning. Following her eyes, he felt that he could not draw another breath. Surely his hearts would stop…there was so much, too much turmoil inside of him.

There was a world to save and yet, as he turned, there was nothing else he could think…

Nothing but her and how much the void she had ripped into his soul still hurt.

How much her name, even whispered hurt …the carrionites had known. Had tried to use it against him.

A name is a powerful thing … and her name could bring him to his knees as surely as it could steel his resolve to fight, to never give up….to save worlds.

And he was so scared, so, so scared of what he would see if he turned around and looked down that dark alley. But he did. With wide, unbelieving eyes and all the pain and desperation in his face. He turned around …

_And I'm sure you're on your way  
Yes I'm sure you're on the road_

There she was. His Rose. A tiny, blond figure carrying an enormous, ridiculously gigantic gun that made her stumble a few times, as she moved towards him.

The air was too heavy, it was too tight to breathe.

He looked at her, still unable to believe, still to scared to accept that she was here, now, in the same universe as he. That there was no wall, no black space, nothing separating them but a few hundred yards.

And then she smiled at him and his hearts started to beat again, so fast, so hard as to burst his chest. Suddenly his mind was flooded with all the things he had never allowed himself to think about since he had lost her.

All the things, small and big, he should have done and said before ….all the things he had missed….

And suddenly, before he knew it, he was running.

_I go nowhere high  
Go nowhere warm  
Until you're by my side  
Your hand in mine_

He was running as fast as he could, his eyes fixed on her, while his mind remembered all the million things he had missed about her.

The way she tilted her head at him, when she asked a question she thought he would probably laugh about.

The colour of her hair, its texture….its smell.

The way she had felt in his arms when they had hugged. When they had escaped certain death yet again.

The way her hand had felt in his, when they were running. The way she had put her hand in his after they had defeated the Sicorax.  
How she had felt when he had kissed her on New Earth, though technically it had been Cassandra who had pounced on him like a starved cougar.

The hundred different variations of how her voice sounded when she called him "doctor".

All the things he should have told her. All the things he should have said. It had always been implied but never outright said. How much she meant to him. What he felt for her. He had always shied back at the last minute…. When they had met Sarah Jane and she had been so scared, so hurt by the thought that he might one day leave her behind.

"**I've been to the year 5 billion, but this... no, this is really seeing the future. You just leave us behind. Is that what you're going to do to me?  
"No. Not to you." **

He could not even tell her before descending into the devil pit…. He had not dared to. He had always just assumed that she knew. It was so much safer. For both of them. Had he said it …words have meaning, words have so much power.

_And I've always known  
You're like a feather  
You go where wind and fire melt together_

She had said it. I love you…

Three words much too small to hold all the meaning they encompassed.

She had told him …too late. When he was just a hologram, burning a sun just to say goodbye to her in Bad Wolf Bay. He wanted to say it.

Wanted to tell her, even if it was futile because they could never meet again. Yet he thought she deserved to hear it once, just once from his lips. It would have been true, once he said it. And loosing her then would have been more than he could stand. But the transmission gave out and he found himself hoping that he was right. That she knew.

Loosing her had almost killed him inside. When all his pain, all his suffering, all his grief were distilled into one word, just one. Rose

But then there was Donna with her crazy, unabashed honesty in that big wedding dress and he had something he could concentrate on….something ….

Seeing her now was all those wounds being ripped open and being healed at once.

Because she was here. And it probably meant that the whole of creation was on the brink of destruction. But he could not bring himself to think about that now. He would deal with that later. He would figure it out. They would save the universe …all of them together. Like they always did.

But now …Rose was here. She was running towards him and he guessed that her brilliant, goofy smile mirrored his.

This time he would try harder. This time he would not wait. This time he would hold on to her and never, ever let go.

_And I'm sure you're on your way  
Yes I'm sure you're on the road _

_And I'm sure you're faster than before  
Yes I know you're somewhere on the road  
I reckon there is nothing more to say_

The pain was unbearable. He should have known. He should have been more careful. But seeing her running towards him, every other coherent thought had escaped his mind. He could hear the TARDIS singing, singing for her. And he had not thought about the dangers, the Daleks …all he had wanted to do was reach her. Reach out and pull her into his arms. And smell her hair.

But now he was writhing on the concrete, in a cold, damp, dark street. Now he was dying.

But he could deal with dying. He would survive.  
Because she was right there, hovering above him, her face so shocked so anxious.

"I've got you…" she whispered breathlessly, her hand cradling his head. "I've missed you. Look, it's me!"

"Rose…" She was here. She was back. She was real.

He could see the tears in her eyes as she pleaded.

"Don't die, please don't die."

He wouln't. Not now. Not like this. Not when he had a universe to save and a million things to show her. A million things to tell her. He understood her grief, the tears she cried, knowing that she had to say goodbye to him…like this. To this piece, this version of him…not knowing what might happen or what kind of man he might turn to be when this is over …

"Not now ….I've come all this way".

He wanted to reassure her, reassure the frantic, grieving Donna that all would be okay. That she might just have to get used to a new face.

But it was too late …too late for words. Not even he knew what would happen.

There was only one thing he knew, right then and there. While the first bursts of energy were shooting through his body. There was only one thing he knew…one thing he wanted.

To tell Rose …to make sure she knew…that no matter what kind of man he would turn out to be. No matter what happened….  
There was nothing, nothing in this or any universe that would ever change the way he felt about her.

_And I'm sure you're faster than before  
Yes I know you're somewhere on the road _

_I reckon there is nothing more to say_


End file.
